So I had this epiphany recently, and perhaps I was the last one in the universe my age to have it, but I am glad that I did. Here it goes… being authentic is really hard… Well at least it is for people like me. I must confess that I am a people pleaser. I don’t mean people pleaser in the way of being a suck-up who has an agenda, or a person who conceals the truth to cause harm, or even a person who describes themselves as selfless; it is more complex than that.  I use that term to describe a person who works to please everyone else and forgets about what they individually want. You might be a people pleaser if the word ‘no’ is rarely part of your vocabulary, or if you care maybe a little too much about the happiness of other people in your life, to the point where you may try to fix their concern or whatever may be bothering them, even if it is not about you. There are more of us people pleasers out there than you may think and that puts a bump in the road when it comes to being authentic.

I have always thought that I was an authentic person. I try to support the people in my life who I cherish as friends and family, I work hard to do well at school and work because I have a dream of where I want to go in my life, and I choose to love fiercely. In these ways I am true to myself, but being authentic is more than that. So what is so hard about being authentic anyway? Well the other people pleasers of the world can probably explain this to you better than I can, but here goes… being authentic means being real and genuine. It means saying ‘no’ when you are thinking it (in a respectful way) and yes when you are thinking it. It   also means being mindful of how other people feel and honoring your piece in a conflict by speaking your truth when it needs to be discussed, despite discomfort. Seems easy enough right? This is only a little bit of what being authentic means, and I think it’s pretty challenging.  So my challenge for you is to think about if you honor what you want out of your life most of the time. If you do, then that is fabulous, but if you don’t…..

My hope for you is that if you love to dance, that you choose to dance like a fool, if you like ketchup on your potato chips at home, that you eat that delicious confection with pride at your dinner table, and when it comes around to being your turn to pick where to eat dinner with your friends, that you speak up and say I would like to have chicken fajita tacos for dinner instead of steak (if that’s your thing). If it is your truth, I hope you speak it, because nothing is more authentically wonderful than the whimsical ways that we go about being ourselves.

With authenticity comes joy. I hope you choose joy.

From the time we were five years old, wearing white pillow cases on our heads, (maybe this was just me) pretending to be brides, we knew the day of our wedding would be special. This is largely because we were convinced that we would lose our shoe at the stroke of midnight one day and we knew our prince would find us… and of course, the shoe would fit… AND we would get married in a castle, ride off in a carriage, and live happily ever after. My story starts off a little different than that, it started about 7 years ago in a high school physics class. Instead of losing a shoe, and my prince finding it, I lost my chair because James (my now fiancé) was sitting in it. Just your typical story of boy sees girl, boy doesn’t know how to strike up a conversation with girl, so he steals her chair of course, with the hope that she will say something.

Fast forward about 7 years, and we are engaged and planning for the big day. As I start the planning process, I cannot help but reflect on how my ideal wedding has evolved throughout the years. It all began at age 6.

This was the age of polka dots and picky eating. I had just been to a cousin’s wedding and remember thinking about how cool it would be to get married. At that time, I naturally did not understand the true significance of marriage, other than that is what my mom and dad did because they wanted to create me… I now realize that was only part of it. At that point in time, I decided I wanted my wedding dress to look like something Minnie Mouse would wear. It would have to have polka dots and it would have to have a pink bow somewhere. This wedding dress was largely inspired by my Minnie Mouse bedroom décor at the time. The music at the wedding was going to have to consist of “This is How We Do It” by Montell Jordan… I am not sure why, but I always have and always will love that song. As for the food, I did not like the vegetables and weird chicken they had at the wedding I attended, so I thought it would be best to serve McDonald’s at my big day.

Fast forward to sometime in junior high and it was all about black fingernails and spikes. At my wedding, my nails were going to be black, my dress would be cocktail length, and Billie Joe Armstrong and hopefully the rest of Green Day would be performing at my wedding. As far as food, that was going to be CiCis pizza. Also, at this wedding, there was going to be arcade games.

By the time sophomore year in high school rolled around, I thought I had figured out everything I wanted in a wedding. By that point, I had been to one too many weddings with tiny dinner plates and even tinier portions. My wedding was going to have an all you can eat Chinese dinner buffet, with giant dinner plates. The music was going to consist of nothing but top 40 music, and there would be a pretty massive disco ball in the middle of the dance floor.

Fast forward to today, our wedding will go like this… It will consist of James and I, and a church full of family and friends who we adore. As for the rest of our wedding plans, those will just be icing on the cake.

Being a first time dog owner is in a lot of ways like going to college, you never really know what you are getting into until you live it. Never in my life had I assumed personal responsibility for another being until I got Toulouse “Lucy” Shoshanna.

As a child, the only “pet” I had was a pet rock, and her name was Rhonda. Why a pet rock you might ask? Well, my dad was and still is a master gardener and our yard simply was not cut out to have pets inhabiting it. Rhonda, my pet rock did not require much care, just a bath every few weeks and sometimes I would remake her shoebox bed when it started to look untidy. I picked Rhonda up off of the side of the road in the Hill Country with the thought that if I took really good care of her, my parents would get me a real pet. At the time, I wanted a Golden Retriever. This thought of getting a dog was in my head for several years, despite the fact that my parents were honest with me that we would not be getting any pets because of our backyard… and more importantly we would not be getting one, because at the time, I was extremely afraid of dogs… Makes since why I would want one right?

Fifteen years and a few months later, I still had no dog, but my fear of them had subsided, and luckily, I now lived in a house with a backyard with loads of running space. One day, a couple of my friends found an American Staffordshire Terrier wandering the streets while they were walking their dog. This sweet dog followed them home. After several weeks of doing the usual search for owners through creating signs and contacting shelters, it appeared that they would need to find a home for this dog. I had been over to visit these friends several times since they had the guest dog living with them and I fell in love. This sweet girl always had the cutest smile and tail wag, and most of all, she was playful, and a dog I believed to be the perfect companion.  After considering the time and resources it takes to have a dog, I agreed to adopt her.  I named her Toulouse “Lucy” Shoshanna after the ‘Aristocats’  cartoon character and after Shoshanna from the TV show ‘Girls.’

Once I got her home, I began to observe her more and more to see what kind of training she already had. I already knew that she knew not to go into the bathroom in the house, but aside from that, there were a lot of things that needed to be done. Lucy would not sit on command, often went to the bathroom on the driveway outside, and would be trying to walk me when I would take her out on walks.

The funny thing is, often times I imagine things in my head to be a lot easier than they actually are. Just like I thought college would be a piece of cake, so too did I think training a dog would be. I started out with trying to teach her how to sit, and she quite literally would not sit, even with the gentle reminder of pushing down lightly on her back. It took about a week with the help of veteran dog owner Jaimie to get her to respond somewhat consistently to the command.

The second task was teaching Lucy to be walked and not to walk me, well…. That is still a work in progress. The other main task was to get her to stop going to the bathroom on the driveway, for now, that has stopped, but she still gets a twinkle in her eye and occasionally looks back at me while walking on the driveway before continuing on her way.

The best parts about having Lucy are that she is so loving, kind and cozy these are all characteristics of my favorite people as well.  Lucy is spoiled to the brim and she knows it, but she has been welcomed into our home as a member of our framily (friends family) and Jaimie and I would not have it any other way.